Sometimes I need to stop planning and just live a little.

I had this great blog idea last night as I was falling asleep and it totally escaped me today.

I had two fillings done today. They were big nasty ones on my "good side" so I am not supposed to chew for 24 hours and I was told that I have 50/50 chance of one of them being abscessed and having to remove it anyway. YAY. I hoping for the 50% to be accurate! LOL. I'll let you decide which one.

Anyway, I decided to take all day instead of 1/2 day off of work. Mainly because I was gone all weekend and my house and my children need some attention.

Speaking of kids. The busier we get the more and more I find that we sometimes take advantage of how good our kids are. Yesterday, we spent the day at the church (literally the entire day) preparing for the awards dinner that night. While Chad and I worked on the order of service, and the list of stuff to get at the store, Nicky put all the table coverings on and then all the streamers down the middle without being told. She also made the lemonade for us. She's pretty awesome, didn't complain, didn't try to spend the day with friends, just quietly and diligently worked in the background doing stuff without being told and thinking ahead to what needed to be done while we worked on power points, table center pieces and creating a program for the night. Chandler helped where he was told too help and did things too. He's not quiet as proactive as Nicky-yet, but useful still.

I know we thanked Nicky and made sure she knew how much we appreciated all that she did, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough. I know she is rewarded with getting to do more the more responsible she is, and she is growing into an amazing young person. That's kind of why I stayed home today. I was thinking about the look on the kids faces when I told them this morning that it might be a late night for Chad and I. We were gone all day Saturday, for a training summit and then Sunday we were gone and it just felt as a mom like from the look on their faces that they really were working at understanding our schedule. Trying to be grown up and not complain. We've raised our kids that quality time is essential as a family and they are in a deficit from us at this moment. So, I stayed home, I have dinner in the oven and I'm looking forward to just being a mom today. I can't wait to be here when they get home, since they are not expecting me to be here!

I passed a mom who was walking her daughter to the school bus this morning on my way to the dentist. I know my kids don't need mommy to walk them to the school bus any more, I know that they don't need me home every day when they walk in the door, but for one moment, I just wished I could be that mom again. The one where my sole attention and purpose was to make sure their life was good and I was there for them 100%. At least I have the kind of job that I get to do things with them and be accessible via phone for them when they get home. I still get to do "mom" things for them. It's just so few and far between. Being a mom is such a big deal and I guess as much as I feel that they still need me occasionally...I still need them to need me too. I'm looking forward to just hanging with the kiddos tonight and just being w/o thinking of anything else. Tomorrow will come fast enough. I just need to sit back and enjoy today for once without planning tomorrow.