Patterns

I know in life we tend to have patterns. For example, Dash and I have been married just shy of 18 years. Every 4 to 5 years since we got married he's found himself looking for work. So, here we are again. This time, it's a little different, but for the most part it's the same...had a job, doesn't have a job. Needs a job. At the same time, I find I am in a pattern too, because I'm in the longest job I've ever had and I want out. I am tired of the emotional roller coaster that I've been on here and I'm not sure it really would be different anywhere else. Well, that's not true, it would be less personal because my family wouldn't be so involved, but I'm sure I'd still fine things that frustrated me. I wish I could have remained a nanny when we moved here, but we're not exactly in the land of nannies. :( That was something I felt useful and good at. I was able to care for the kids, the families and not deal with office politics. I miss hanging out with kids, loving them, teaching them, I miss fixing ramen noodles and them thinking I'm wonderful! :) While we're back to this square in our pattern, and Chad is job hunting again, I am hopeful. I have no idea what will be the outcome will be, but I'm hopeful.