TEAM

I have come to the realization that I am lacking one key component for greater job satisfaction.  TEAM. 

We are a small church.  There are three of us on full time staff.  Pastor, Youth/Associate Pastor and myself (admin).  We all have struggled with our personal relationships with one another. We all have strong personalities and we basically had some rough patches to over come relationally.

I believe we’ve worked through most of those issues.  But there still seems to be a wall that hinders us from truly working as an affective team.  When we meet for staff it’s just downloads of what we are doing individually, or really more of a calendar update than anything else.  It’s starting to get to me.

I can work by myself and have no problem even with finding work to do.  But there are so many things that I think the church could do and the ministry of the church could do if we were really meeting together to plan things.  The number one problem I see…and this is speculation because they don’t actually talk to me, is that when they tried this, they didn’t like that I would make them think about details or things that might be a challenge.  I wasn’t trying to be negative, I was trying to be helpful…analytical.  But now nothing is planned with me, nothing is discussed with me, it’s just “do this” or in most cases “do you have something to work on? Ok”. 

I really want to be a part of a TEAM.  I really want to be a useful part of ministry.  I am really tired of being the only one in the office and the only one that doesn’t have a clue as to what is going on. 

We need to improve on communication, but how to do that and become affective?  I don’t know.  All I know is every time I bring up an area of opportunity for us to improve they retreat further away.  I feel I have no other option but to do what I do, to the best of my ability, do it by myself and just accept that it may never get better. 

That saddens me.  I really like the men I work with, I think that they have good ideas and it hurts me that that don’t seem to have the same respect/thoughts about me.  I guess I’ve just “complained/been emotional” too many times for my own good.  Now I’m just praying and asking God to show me if He still wants me where I am and if I can find fulfillment some other way in my job than to expect or hope for working as a team. 

Sometimes, it just gets to me more than other times.  Today is one of those days.