Closest to Jesus

In the "Rediscovering the Christmas Season" Bible Reading I'm doing it posed this suggestions: Discuss with friends & family or journal about a time when you felt closest to Jesus.

When I think about this, I find it both interesting and challenging. If I go based solely on "feeling" I'd have to say hands down it was my high school years. I had hours of time at home by myself and I filled it with prayer time for both myself and others. I took "pray without ceasing" to a very real level. By the time I was a year or two into college I had a couple different experiences that changed my focus more to me than to others. Somewhere it stopped being a time with God and became more a time of petition to God for my own behalf. Than I was married, had kids, life changes you and your time commitments multiply. I eventually got back to praying for others, but the "feeling" was different now.

Today I'd say that it's not about the "feelings I have" I don't have hours of uncommitted time to spend off by myself praying like I did when I was 15, 16, 17. But I am still close to God. Does it "feel" the same? for me, no. But how I am close to God has changed. Over the past few years as an adult I'm reading my Bible more. I'm studying God's Word. So I'm growing in my knowledge of him and growing a deeper understanding of His love for me.

For me it's not about having hours to spend in prayer, it's about what I do with the hours I do have. Am I being Jesus to those around me? Am I praying for others? Am I seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness?

The challenge from my reading plan was to make plans to do something today to get closer to God. The flaw I see in this challenge is the assumption that we're not already doing that. As Christians that's what we are called to do. So I'm going to focus on another part of the reading "Immanuel-God with Us". I'm going to make this my way of getting closer to God today, and every day after. I'm going to work on not just knowing God is with me, but "feeling God" is with me. I'm going to work on being more open with my "feelings" to God again. This won't be a "today" thing, but I think it's the next step in my journey with God.

He's already been preparing me for this, and I believe that now is the time to say that I want the "old me" and the "present me" to merge into the "new me". Taking a step of faith and allowing God to work in me to the point that I can embrace my emotions again will be tough. I've tried to leave them out of my spiritual growth for a while, "feelings" are a sign of immaturity, right? I guess for me, it was for a while a sign of immaturity, because I wasn't growing in my knowledge of the Word. That's why now, for me, it's time to merge the two.

Closer to God. That's the goal. "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God..."