At a loss

Sometimes I just feel like titling every blog "HELP!" Being a parent is difficult. I won't lie and say there is not a difference between boys and girls and I certainly won't lie and say that I'm glad for it. Nicky is almost 15, almost a sophomore in high school. You'd think we'd be past the drama that comes with girls by now and she'd be settled in. NOPE.

She has several girls that she considers good friends. The problem is, she is guarded because she's been hurt. So she knows, believes, and feels that she can be some one's friend without needing to talk to them about everything or talk to them all the time. She had two of her closer friends corner her yesterday and tell her she's not a good friend because she doesn't talk to them all the time. She has had a couple girls that she's close to in youth group do the same thing. She has tried to explain her position and that she considers them good friends, but she is getting yelled at and basically told she sucks.

I wish these girls could realize something that I've learned as an adult. 1. There are different levels of friendships. 2. Some people may consider you a close friend and never really tell you much of anything about themselves. 3. Some people may feel that they need to tell you everything. It's different with all my friends.

I told Nicky, I am much more serious in Indiana and withdrawn at times because I tried to joke and make light of things, but my good friends here don't get my sense of humor the way my OP Peeps do! (That's you!) At the same time, I don't feel the friendships I've made here are less than because of it, they are just different.

This brings me to the title "At A Loss". I didn't really know how to be a friend or receive friendships hardly until OPAG. So, I have no clue what advice to give Nicky. My response to life in high school was with draw. Retreat. Run away. I ate lunch alone. I didn't talk to people in class hardly at all. I think that's why they are all my facebook friends. They had no expectations of who or what I am, because I was just there, but not really when we were in school. So I didn't offend them or have drama. But I also didn't need that as much as Nicky does. Nicky LOVES people. She loves friends and loves having them. So she is very hurt that they can't accept her for who she is.

I encouraged her to pray for wisdom and ask God to show her if she needed to do something different, but I also encouraged her to let them know that it hurts her that they (as her friend) can't accept her for who she is. I know it will work out I just hate it when there's a problem I can't fix and have no expertise on when it comes to my kids. I feel helpless.