This weeks deep thought...what makes a person confident or not?
Why do some people struggle so much with self worth? Is self worth the same as self confidence? I think I'll tackle the last question first. In my opinion, no-it's not.
I believe I have worth. I believe that I have value. I am Christian and to be a Christian you should know and understand you have a purpose and therefore value. However, confidence something that I struggle with.
Who knows when the insecure switch happened? At birth? At the first time I realized I couldn't do something? When a sibling said something mean and spiteful? When a parent made a comment that was misunderstood? Something in me makes me inherently insecure. I would supose that it would take years of therapy to figure out why that is the case, so instead, I have tried to fix the problem without addressing the why.
So, I know I screw up things. I keep a list of stuff that I do on a regular basis that tells me where I went wrong. One thing that stuck out to me as an interesting insight as a teen was when my dad said he wasn't going to punish me for something. When I asked why he said he knew I would be harder on myself than he could ever be. He was right. I can't let go of things I do wrong.
So, I've established that I am not a confident person. I have worked on this over the years, I am improved from where I was 10 years ago and hopfully I'll improve more over the next 10 years.
This being said, what about you? Am I the only one with this issue? Do other people struggle to find confidence in themselves too? I don't think this is s guy/girl thing--even though Dash is confident and I am not. But I'm even willing to entertain that idea. What do you think? Are you
Confident or not?
3 comments:
My opinion and belief is that our level of confidence depends upon if we are in a positive environment or a negative environment. This is not to say what our childhood was like is how we turn out. But when I have been in more negative situations (controlling marriage, divorce, stressful job environments...even my last job was working for 4 very negative people and 1 positive person)...then my level of confidence is greatly affected.
Philippians 4:8 tells us what to think and dwell on...and its all positives...nothing negative.
I was just going over this with my boys tonight. I firmly believe if one hears enough negativity, they lose their confidence and talents that God gave them. But when one is edified and lifted up positively, then they will achieve great things!
I believe in YOU, dear T! :)
Thanks Jadee. I see what you are saying about environmental factors. I do think for some people that can be the case. I don't think for me, personally it has been, but regardless of the why, I do believe God wants me to be confident in Him and that is where I am focusing now. :)
I have moved between confidence and lack of confidence a bit in my life so I have a theory on this as well that I would like to think is somewhat informed. I think that confidence is just a function of how much you think you will be judged about something and how much you care if you will be judged. Most confident people are either oblivious to the possibility of being judged about some specific thing because they haven't really been judged on it before or they simply don't care about the judgments of the people they figure will judge them.
This all is why a toxic environment when growing up can destroy someone's confidence later. If someone has been called stupid or ugly all of his or her childhood, that person is going to believe that everyone is making that judgment of them and have no confidence whatsoever unless they can become so detached as to not care. Likewise, people who have only ever been told how great they are at things will presume that few people are judging them and have vast confidence as they grow up. This is probably an oversimplification of things, but it is my take.
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