VBS

VBS is over. It went really well (in my opinion.) There were things that could be improved upon, but overall--it went well. Nicky and Chandler both seemed to have fun doing their parts of it...Chandler is very talented with puppets. Nicky said it's something he's always wanted to do. I realize that while he doesn't talk about that to us a lot--he often plays like he's got a puppet in his hands--so I'm glad he got the opportunity to do this. Nicky did a great job with her enthusiasm and motions to the songs. She has her stuff down and led us all very well.

I did have an awkward moment tonight that was difficult to rebound from. Things were going great with VBS. I was happy and excited that it went well and since the theme was all about serving, I was in a particularly "serve-ee" mood. I was hangin' out talking to people as they went through the food line and about to get my plate when I offered a person the other plate that was there. They seemed to almost take offense. "I'm not taking it--no, not until you get yours." The weird thing was--I had mine in my hand as I slid one to them. Trying to rebound from that I asked where there wife was so I could offer to grab a plate for her. She had done a lot for VBS and I figured she would be one of the last (as we were) to eat. I turned and called her name and was told "no" but I wasn't comprehending that--(at this point I was still in a serving mood.) Then, I called her name again as I turned and saw she was pouring drinks. While I started to say "oh--you're helping" I was touched on the shoulder by this man and he said "no" again and then proceeded to speak very loudly that "she's a big girl and can take care of herself" he said it two times in front of others and in a loud tone. It was a very awkward moment for me. I was not trying to offend, or imply that she couldn't. Had it been anyone else or had there been others who had not eaten yet, other then the people serving the food, I would have done the exact same thing, I would have tried to offer a plate as a nice gesture and an act of friendship. I was embarrassed by this man's actions. I was caught off guard. It all happened so fast and prior to it I was in a great mood happy to be at VBS, glad that the week went well, and that we were all having fun.

While I'd like to believe this man meant no personal harm to me, calling me down as if I were two, interrupting me (when I started to say "oh, you are helping" and correcting me the way he did really was difficult to rebound from. I can only assume that for whatever reason he was not listening or realizing that I was stopping and that I actually had the plate in my hand for myself. I was only going to ask her if she wanted a plate so I could let the kitchen know we could use another one. I assume he thought I was pushing to give her food that for some reason would have been the wrong thing to do. I am not stupid, I can see when someone is still working and doing things.

I guess this brings me to question. Do people get offended in a public setting like that when others offer to get them a plate or ask if they want something? I have done this to other people, I pretty sure I've done this to people who are reading this. I have never meant to make someone feel that I think they can't take care of themselves. It's only been my intent to be a kind/cheerful giver. It's something that I have in the past found fun to do, see someone that hasn't been served yet and simply offer the the opportunity to be served. Sometimes people have said, "no thank you" or "I'm fine". Until now, I've never assumed that I could be bothering others by offering something. People have offered me food or chairs or whatever and I've said "no thanks", or "I'm fine." I certainly have never expected or wanted dash to say "She's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

Even now, while writing this it bothers me. I know I dwell on conversations sometimes too much. When I took the job I have now that was the one thing that dash was concerned about. He knew people would say things to me, with expectations of me that I would be concerned about.

I guess what I hate the most is that it ruined my whole night. The rest of the time I spent away from everyone trying not to be upset from the embarrassment of being called down like I was. People were looking when it took place and I don't know what they thought, they only saw part of it I'm sure since it happened so fast and most of it was a private conversation. I don't know what they thought I had done to the man or his wife to cause such a reaction. He literally stepped in front of me, touched my shoulder and made a production out of making sure I didn't offer to get his wife food.

I guess he will get the result he wants in the future, It was a lasting memory for me and I certainly won't offer to get anything for him or his wife if I can help it again. That bothers me too though. I like to be helpful and now I'll have to be guarded around these people who are people I will be around all the time. It also makes me wonder, if that bothered him so much, what other things do I do that bother this man? Since we attend a small church, and I am the secretary, I see him and interact with him on a regular basis. I am sure in time there won't be an awkwardness there, but it will take me a while, I'm not the type of person that shakes off public humiliation very quickly.

Thanks for letting me share--sorry for that---

I guess I just need to be able to vent in a direction that isn't the direction of our friends or family here, since they all know this person. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of it then it is, and obviously I need to grow thicker skin. I'm a wuss.

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Back to VBS, this week was not as stressful as I thought it would be. I am pretty sure my boss kept what I had to do during the day to a minimal amount to accommodate the evening VBS stuff I was doing. I was nervous about helping with VBS. I didn't feel qualified for really any part I had in it. I think overall the stuff I did have a part in I did okay with. I am know there was room for improvement, but as nervous as I was it could have gone a lot worse. I feel bad that I spoke so openly at church about VBS. I was stressed about it and some other things and I haven't kept it a secret that I'm glad I won't have to be involved at the same level next year. I am a behind == way behind the scenes person. I should not have complained and I showed my immaturity by doing so. I guess through the experience I had tonight and from VBS in general I'm seeing just how much growth potential I really have. It may not be the message of our VBS but I guess it's the lesson I'm supose to learn anyway.