We watched "The Weatherman" the other night. In this movie his father is dieing, to help cope with the impending death of her husband the mother arranges a living funeral. The person who is dying gets to attend and hear what others have to say about them.
I've always wondered why we don't say things to people now that we would want to say about them when they are gone. Are we afraid of sounding dumb? One way some business people suggest you setting goals for your future is by writing your own obituary. Stating what you would want others to say when you die.
I admit that I have done this exercise before and with my kids and family I think I hold true to the goal for the most part. I'm not sure if I'm as successful with people outside my family. None the less, I try not to have a negative impact on others lives.
Sometimes I wonder if others were to sum up my life what would they say? I know logically it doesn't matter if you're dead what others say, but I think I would actually like the idea of a living funeral. I don't think my family would be very comfortable with this, so I'd get better results faking my death and hiding out to listen in!
What do you think? Could you go to a living funeral of a friend and participate without hesitation or pause? Is this going to become the new thing to do? I've noticed how different funerals are here verses Indiana. In Indiana when someone dies they have a viewing. This is when the person's body or closed casket if they are unrecognizable are on display. The family stands by it and people come by and talk to you about your loved one. This goes on for one or two nights, sometimes more depending on the person. With my grandfather, a retired pastor who was still active in the community we had 2 full days and 2 nights just for the viewing. This all was prior to the day of the funeral. Then theirs the funeral and then afterwards you go to the burial plot too. When someone dies in Indiana, it's a week of ongoing events for the family at least, most of which is in public view.
People come out of the woodwork. You meet people that the deceased probably hadn't seen in years. It's almost like a big family reunion because ALL family attends and you might not have been together for years. I can't count the number of funerals I attended while living there. Not just family funerals either. If you knew the deceased or their family you should go to at least the viewing and the funeral too if you knew both the deceased and their family. I can't see the living funeral thing working there in that dynamic. I might be wrong?
What's your thoughts? If given an option would you opt in or out of a living funeral for yourself? For a friend/loved one?
4 comments:
Wow...a living funeral doesn't sound like such a bad idea...but what about unexpected deaths? How would you plan something then? Maybe that's why my folks always had us take time to tell the Birthday Person what we appreciated them. Kind of like celebrating their life vs death.
I wonder how you would handle a funeral/viewing for cremations? Something I would opt for economically and we are just made from the dust of the earth...
I don't think I'd like one for myself. I think I would feel like some of the nice things were disingenious.
I would probably be more willing to participate in a living funeral for a loved one. It might be a little awkward if the person has a terminal condition, though.
I would go to a friend's living funeral. I wouldn't want one for myself-too weird. I living funeral for a loved one would be too hard emotionally for me I think.
I would go if I was asked to. I'm not sure if I would want one for myself. Might be awkward on everyone
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