I'm watching a tv show tonight and there's a single mom on it chewing out the fiance of her ex saying that she should not have met her daughter until they were married. That as a single mom she tries to make sure her daughter sees only stable relationships.
First of all, this is not a girl friend it's a fiance. Second--by the age of 13, I'm thinking kids have seen people come and go in their lives. They've had friends that moved away. Friends have had parents divorce. They may have had parents divorce. By 13 your child is only 5 years away from moving out of your home. Some people think it's crazy not to let your child live in a "real" world. Other people think that children should be sheltered from some environments. I don't completely disagree with the "my daughter spent the night with someone I had never met." complaint. My issue is with the extreme of "not until you're married, we'll deal with it then."
I know this is a TV show and not "real life." But if it were I'd say by 13 kids should be able to expect people to be around, but accept when something happens and they aren't. This story line had the girl finding out who her dad was by a science project she did. She knew from what her mom told her that it could be one of 3 men, so she went and asked them for DNA and did DNA tests to find out which one was her dad. She named her project "who's my daddy?"
Isn't that kind of like real life. We're okay. Sure we may have slept with 3 guys and you found out who your dad was from a DNA test, but we're the good guy and your dad...who is stable and in a committed relationship--he's evil for introducing you to his fiance!? Yup, rationale just isn't an option when we allow ourselves to think emotionally.
2 comments:
Oh, I KNOW! I was so irritated by that mother....LOL! AND that is coming from a single mom who does know the issues of introducing kids to people.
1. It was her way of controlling the father...to punish him for the prior 13 years. The mom still didn't want him in his daughter's life, but he insisted he wanted a chance to get to know his daughter...that she had KEPT SECRET from him for 13 years.
2. This is not the mom's dating partner to whom she can limit the access to her daughter. I think she ultimately is jealous of the fiance's ability to interact with her daughter.
3. Like you said, this is a FIANCE situation...not someone that he has just started dating. AND she has raised a DAUGHTER on her own...so its not like she doesn't know how to care/interact with the girl.
I agree...its all about balance and not leaning to any extremes...something we have to do everyday in my life as a mom, whether married or single.
I didn't see this on TV, but I think Jadee's point #1 is the absolute most likely cause of the situation.
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