Teachers have the opportunity to help build our confidence or smash it. Last year, N had a teacher (Mrs. R) who was great. She really helped N and maybe someday I'll take time to detail that more, but I got to see first hand the value of a GREAT teacher. Seeing that has really put into perspective the experience I had. I had a good fourth grade teacher and went into the 5th grade an A/B student.
So I made it through 4th grade and entered 5th grade. I was shy and had difficulty reading out loud. I could read, but I could not speak in front of people. I would turn red and stumble over my words and speak in a tone that no one could hear me. So even though I made A's mostly and an occasional B because I was unable to read in front of the class my teacher pulled me aside, she told me "T, I'm surprised at you" Then, I had my first "comparison" to my sisters happen. "You come from an intelligent family, and you make good grades. You HAVE to read better." She then proceeded to order me to read out loud. Well, that didn't go over very well. Basically, I refused to speak because I was mortified. She was telling me I was dumb, but I didn't understand how I was dumb because I got good grades and could read, I just didn't want to read in front of people.
The result of that moment was me being put into a remedial reading class. I didn't tell my parents what happened and over the years I just grew to hate reading. I felt stupid and even though I kept my grade up, somehow without reading, I meandered through school and then through college. I have some of the books I had read before that here. I was reading chapter books and did a report on Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingals Wilder in the 3rd grade. So, I actually read and read well before this. It wasn't until several years ago when trying to defend my dislike of reading to dash that I thought about it all. I related to him what happened. After that, I started reading and now, I actually like to read. I will probably never get into like some people do, because I can't appreciate the "art" side to reading. But I can say that Mrs. Wheaton was by far that worst teacher I ever had. Teachers like that make it that much harder for a good teacher like Mrs. R that N had do their jobs.
5 comments:
So true! When they say that "children are clay to be molded" they aren't joking!
It's scary to realize that individual events like that can have such an impact on a child's self-worth and interests.
Around what age did you cease being shy?
Well dust, I still have my moments! So I probably haven't "ceased being shy" but in the last 5 years I've grown a lot in my life and I'm not as shy as a result of that growth.
My friend L from college had a teacher in grade school that told her she needed to keep her desk neater, then proceded to turn over her desk and dump it out. L was humilated picking her things up off the floor with the entire class looking on. This friend is now a perfectionist when it comes to being organized.
It makes me sad to hear about the damage that some teachers have caused. We have to be so careful with our words.
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