Okay, a weird title to be sure. Let me explain. I am perplexed. I am going to do a real journal entry here and I'm going to lay more out there than even I tend to be usually. I am in a spot spiritually where I know exactly what God is saying to me and I have actually been a defiant child that's standing back saying---"I don't want to." It's several reasons why I am choosing to be childish regarding this.
1. I just don't want to say yes.
2. If I say yes, I have to eat a lot of crow. (you know the I'll never do that kind of crow.)
3. If I say yes, Mr. T wins and quiet frankly I'm tired of things always going his way.
4. By saying yes, I would be thrust into something that I really believe God wants me to do---but I'm not sure I'm ready for it thus, I'm worried I won't be good at it and then what?
As some people have asked and found out (yes I wrote stuff as a teenager....lots of stuff.) So this whole blog thing has been cool for me. I bring this up because I wrote a poem in high school that I'm reminded of
One step higher
He's moving you up the ladder
Sometimes the pain is deep
Sometimes there's no relief
Let go
So
He can move you up again
And as you learn to let Him in
Give Him you all and you won't fall
Your eyes will open
And you will learn
He's moving you one step higher
To where He wants you to be***
***from memory, not verbatim
Anyway, whether anyone else gets it or not, that's okay because this is more for Mr. T than the rest of you. Mr. T. Yes. I'll do it. I don't feel that I'm the best for what you're wanting, but I'll fulfill the role you're asking of me. We'll see how it goes and if it's needed long term or not, no title necessary, Mrs. Dash is just fine.
To everyone else, I encourage you to take the step, even when you're not looking forward to it. I've not been let down by God yet and once again I'm forced to trust that He knows more than I do....but at least I can trust for that very reason that I won't be disappointed in my decision.
9 comments:
wow.
I really apreciate you being sensitive to this. If I can help the crow taste better .... or at least not serve it up quite so often, I will try.
ILYMTTY-Y ... BSINAMAT
WOW! I am so proud of you stepping out on a limb, rather a rung on the ladder!
Thanks for sharing that poem again...I really needed to be reminded of that.
What are you talking about?
Yes, I agree with clearing. You and dash sometims write the vaguest blogs in your own little secret code language.
Just remember:
AFAFFITLITLOT
AAFWNSN...
BALIMTLTLWF
...MWS
I happen to know that dash has told verbally and I think it's been written before on a coment that ILYMTTY-Y is I love you more today than yesterday, yesterday.
BSINAMAT is But still it's not as much as tomorrow. He often signs his cards and personal notes to me this way.
I also was not vague. I did not spell out in detail what I was saying yes to, that did not matter as much as the point. When you are supose to do something you shouldn't stand in the way of it, and as I pointed out in the blog was doing that.
A lifetime is mot too long.
smarty pants!
It took me way to long to figure out sams code.
ITSFMS, TSFMP, SS-Y!
I'm too tired for these codes, too tired for these codes, so tired-yeah.
(Sorry babe, couldn't resist.)
Glad you are taking the next step, T. That was a good poem by the way. I have wrestled with God about doing things that He wants me to do, also. I usually try to rationalize myself out of the task at hand. Congrats to you for going through with it!
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